Flying the flag for middle-aged women, Davina McCall and Donna Ashworth recently captivated audiences with their genuine and heartfelt conversation at Tunbridge Wells Literary Festival. And as Sue Pritchard discovered, the power of connecting through everyday magic continued after the event.

There’s so much I could write about the night I saw Donna Ashworth in conversation with Davina McCall, as part of Tunbridge Wells Literary Festival.

It was a real double act.

These two women were so at ease in one another’s company, with such genuine displays of mutual adoration, that Davina admitted she’d never felt more like her true self - even leaving the stage at Donna’s prompting to take an important personal phone call. Whilst Donna said she’d never have to feel nervous about such events again if Davina was always there by her side.

There was laughter, and tears when Davina spoke about her recent brain surgery and life lessons learnt from that, along with touching demonstrations of what they called the Code of Women - when Davina tamed an unruly piece of Donna’s hair that had attached itself to her microphone for all to see.

There was also plenty of hugs, including one for a member of the audience who’d recently been bereaved. Davina virtually dangled off the stage to reach him. She also laughed and couldn’t hide her amused disbelief at a heckler too – who asked if Donna’s husband had a brother available for her to meet up with!

Memorable Moments

Memorable moments were not only scribbled in my notebook but engraved on my heart as well. Donna recognised so many members of the audience she’d met before, Davina wondered if she knew everyone there that night. There was also plenty of inspiration for the audience which was mainly comprised of middle-aged women. Be brave, we were encouraged, go and do those things you’re frightened of.

“Refuse to become invisible. Speak up and be heard. Why not start that business or write that book?” Davina urged us.

Indeed it was Donna’s bravery when messaging Davina a while ago that kick-started their friendship. Now, Donna laughed, she likes to tell everyone she knows Davina and proudly admits she is just as lovely in real life.

Speaking openly about the more spiritual aspects of her life, Donna led the audience at Tunbridge Wells Assembly Hall Theatre in a beautiful meditation. She also introduced us to the idea of manifesting what we want in life by pinning our desires to the universe’s noticeboard, which she’d attached to a tree in an imaginary forest for everyone to see. I loved this idea.

“If you make the first move,” Donna promised us,” the universe will always meet you halfway.”

Admitting she wakes up every morning and works hard to focus on gratitude, love, joy, and some of the solutions to life’s problems, Donna explains this helps to channel the good stuff into her Reticular Activating System (RAS).

Described as a sort of filter for your brain, the RAS helps determine what information from the external world gets your attention that day. And it works, Donna told us, encouraging everyone to give it a go too.

As the conversation led on to energy and connection, Donna reminded us we’re never alone - although it may seem like it at times throughout life. She also spoke animatedly about how it’s possible to rewire your thoughts and beliefs. As a recovering perfectionist, Donna says it’s something she knows a lot about. You can unthink a thought by simply not thinking it anymore, she believes.

Urging everyone to never underestimate the power of authenticity and being true to yourself, Donna said she’s found that the best things in life happen, when you stop pretending.

Trust Your Instincts

Although she does believe in the power of random, Davina admits she probably has to practise things such as meditation more. She also wanted to encourage everyone in the audience to really trust their instincts because, she said, they’re never wrong.

In fact, it was finally trusting her own instincts that led Donna to where she is today – a multiple best-selling author who’s been called the face of modern poetry. Although it was quite surprising when she admitted: “it was never about the poetry in the beginning”.

After starting out writing an anonymous blog but then progressing onto sharing her mindset messaging publicly across social media, Donna soon realised that the right words, at the right time in the right order, can have great impact.

And there was no “signier sign”, she laughed, then one of her poems going viral during the Covid pandemic, giving her the encouragement to carry on. From this, her poetry was born.

Davina asked if she ever feels pressure to keep churning out inspiring words every day, but Donna said no. Saying the greatest pressure is what she puts upon herself, everyone else’s simply pales in comparison.

For Donna, writing has also been part of what she calls the great midlife unravelling, which she compares with pulling the threads of a jumper, until you’re virtually naked underneath!

Going Solo

I went by myself to witness this delightful double act of Davina and Donna in action that night. I decided to pull up my big brave pants last year, and simply attend events like this alone, if I couldn’t find anyone else who was free or wanted to go with me. I’d also realised friends and family were only half-heartedly offering to keep me company out of sympathy, if these events weren’t their cup of tea.

So instead, I decided to not miss out on what I wanted to do, and embrace the solitude.

And as I’ve since discovered, booking a single seat provides a wonderful opportunity to people watch, allowing you to reach out to other solitary figures if you so wish. The joy of speaking to strangers was also something Davina and Donna touched upon that night.

Recalling the time she spoke with a cashier in a local supermarket who was having a bad time in life, after lots of hugs and tears, Davina said he’d felt much better when she walked away, and admitted that she had too. Whilst Donna fondly remembers all the ladies she’s spoken to in the loos on a night out. It’s something many of us have probably done as well, quite often ending up having the most heartfelt discussions ever.

“I often wonder where they are and if they’re doing ok now,” Donna laughed.

And it was such a connection with strangers that left a lasting impression on me that night too.

Book Magic

Standing in the queue to meet with Donna after the show, I heard a lady behind me marvel about the wonders of book magic – where Donna believes if you choose a random page from one of her books, it always knows what you need and delivers. It’s almost as if the book is giving you an oracle card reading.

“Look at this!” the lady excitedly showed her friends the page where the book had fallen open. They all gasped in surprise. “She knows things,” the lady marvelled, tapping the top of her head, and almost looking in wonder towards Donna at the front of the long queue.

After about 40 minutes of people watching, I decided to pass the time and strike up a conversation with the lady in front of me, who also appeared to be by herself.

After my new friend had introduced herself as Mary, she admitted although she’s always been a fan of Davina, she only recently discovered Donna but wanted her new book signed. As I already had most of Donna’s books, I explained I’d brought along a copy of her poem about feathers, that used to hang in my mum’s house.

My mum had collected the many feathers she’d found, almost miraculously dotted around her house, after my dad died in 2009. So I’d given her a copy of the poem which she’d cherished. And now, after my mum recently passed away, I wanted Donna to sign this so I could hang it back up in my own house.

Agreeing it was a lovely poem, Mary started to absent-mindedly flick through a copy of Donna’s book called Joy Chose You, that she bought after the show had finished.

“I don’t believe it,” Mary gasped in shock as we both stared at her book in amazement. Right before our very eyes, that book had almost taken on a life of its own and sprung open at the page of the feather poem. The same poem we’d only been discussing a few moments before.

“Book magic,” I breathed in awe, mirroring the surprise I’d witnessed earlier on in the same queue.

“I’m a great believer in signs,” Mary went on to tell me.

And of course, this was a green light for me to tell her about the many I’ve received in recent years, and which I believe helped me to write my book called Dream Catcher.

Showing her my necklace of a dream catcher I was wearing that night, in honour of the book I want to pin to the universe’s noticeboard and get published, my new queueing friend gasped again.

“Seriously?” Mary laughed out loud. “I love dream catchers. I was admiring a new one I’d just bought before I came out tonight.”

And then, as we carried on talking, we continued to witness that remarkable power of random. Sharing our similar spiritual experiences and hope for the future, we also discovered we were both adult orphans navigating the ups and downs of grief.

“I’ve been seeing signs everywhere,” Mary messaged me the next day after we’d swapped numbers and vowed to stay in touch. “I’ve been going through a bit of a tough time recently,” she admitted, “but yesterday I decided I needed to meet new people. I’m sure we were supposed to meet,” she told me.

And I can’t help but agree.